In this event report, our newsletter editor Frances Lloyd summarises John’s talk about his experiences as a humanist celebrant
John’s journey
John was brought up with a Baptist mother and was baptised when he was 16. His church was part of the ‘Jesus’ movement. When at Sheffield University he joined the Christian Union but lost his faith and became strongly not religious.
His career was in IT and management consultancy. When he retired, he thought what now? He was attracted to humanism and checked on the website that he was indeed a humanist. He felt he could use his skills of presentation and experience of meeting people to become a humanist celebrant and looked into the training.
The training to become a celebrant is run by Humanists UK. You study only one ceremony e.g. weddings at a time. There is an induction day followed by two weekends and several homework exercises. You’re assigned a tutor (at the weekends as well) and a mentor (John has been a mentor). Once that training is completed you become a probationary celebrant and are observed for accreditation. Accreditation is renewed every 3 years with another celebrant observing you. You also have to undertake quality and continuous personal development (CPD). This consists of 5 hours of CPD and client feedback.
John then told us about the different humanist ceremonies.
Naming ceremonies
These are for new life or a change of name for whatever reason. The ceremony is a symbolic act e.g. a ribbon around the room which all participants touch whilst making a commitment to the person. There are also readings. They are a happy occasion and the excuse for a party. The family are given a Humanists UK certificate. These ceremonies are an alternative to christening. Christenings are often needed to get into a school and are therefore in competition to humanist naming ceremonies. John said he doesn’t do many and not enough for accreditation.
Wedding ceremonies
Humanist weddings are legally recognised in Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Channel Isles. Not in England and Wales. They are happy occasions with symbolic acts e.g. hand fasting. They are completely bespoke services and again are an excuse for a party. They are lot more popular than naming ceremonies.
Funerals
The first one was held in 1896 and are a celebration of the life that was lived. Memories to live on through stories and pictures. The celebrant is a comfort to the grieving family and through their experience will help with the preparation and content for the service. They liaise with the funeral directors and it’s important that the family know that the celebrant is a safe pair of hands when doing this. Competition to humanist funerals are those offered by civil celebrants and vicars who conduct non religious services.
Cremations
These are bespoke within a framework and time constraints. John said he likes conducting them. They start with the entrance usually with music. Then a few words in introduction followed by tributes/eulogies which the celebrant can write or they can read what someone else has written. There is often a biography of the person which some attending may not know the detail of. This is followed by reflection usually in music and pictures. There is then the committal with either the curtains open or closed. The service ends with the exit accompanied by music. John advises that this should be more upbeat. John has a library of readings which can be used if the family wishes. Often a funeral director will recommend a hymn or prayer to the family but if they agree that rules out a humanist from conducting the service.
Burials
Typically held at natural burial grounds. Local ones include Ludford Park Meadow, Westhope and Humber. Usually less time constraints but it often rains! Can be more challenging with safety issues but can be more interesting.
Other types of service
Pre-planned funerals when the celebrant can offer to talk to the person who is going to die about what they would like for their service when the time comes.
Ashes internment.
Memorials.
War stories
John then told the meeting about some of his experiences as a celebrant.
Pre planned funeral. He had the honour to talk to a lady in a hospice who talked for 20 minutes. From this John did the eulogy and at the funeral her friends said they could hear her voice through what was said.
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The parents were a young couple who were aid workers abroad. Their son was 5 months old lying asleep on his dad when he stopped breathing. The parents had to be interviewed by the police and were under suspicion. The worst thing was that the mum couldn’t leave the baby and had to be man-handled away.
Covid and lockdown. The most difficult funeral was when three people, very upset, weren’t allowed to touch or hold each other.
Jewish and Hindu. The wife of a non-religious Jew had requested that the cross be removed but it wasn’t. John had it removed. A 90-year-old Hindu man had lost his wife. They had met after partition in 1948 so a very long marriage. He didn’t want a Hindu service and John did a humanist one.
No coffin. The man had donated his whole body to medical science. John did the service – in a bar!